NC: You have presented some twists and shifts to whatever preconceived plan I had. For the new location, new connection, new gig, I give thanks. I stepped into the next big adventure to experience this big adventure. Gratitude.
My daughter, Love. Happy birthday. Today marks 19 years of unconditional, filled to the brim, pay attention to every day, moments of love. Each day for all of your years, I have known my role as your mommy was to care for you, raise you up, and step back as you make your way. Stepping back, but still beside you. For guidance, laughter, support, those “Mom, guess what?!” happy and less happy phone calls, those expressions of confusion and enlightenment as you grow and continue to create the life you want to live.
You have heard me say to you “I love you so” countless times. For me, it is a boundless sentiment but an unworthy statement, not quite capturing the enormity of how I have been blessed by you. I am accountable to this parental love I have been gifted.
Peace and gratitude, Love.
What? Notification of my 50th blog post! How fitting that you my friend of over 30 years, would mark this small personal writing/sharing milestone. Love anaid. Love.
Our phone conversation coming to a close, she says “Happy Mother’s Day”. I respond in kind with heartfelt measure. Disconnecting the call, my face crumbles, and there is it. Again. Loss. Grief. Longing. This memory recall within my center. Mom.
She feels it I know. How she is missed. Yet it is important she continues her healing journey toward peace, on that higher plain, joined by the others that are also missed.
I then stand here and will joy and gratitude to return.
And I wish all of my sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins, friends, as mothers or as mothered, here and beyond, a heartfelt Happy Mother’s Day.
This is not just a tree.
This is Her tree.
Other acts of bravery have followed,
but nestled securely in the bend of the branch,
scared and exhilarated, three feet above the ground
exclaiming “I can do it!”
as the grip on her mommy’s hands loosened,
this was her first.
Her tree has served her well. It has been
sanctuary, leaves shadowing her on her perch;
Counselor, holding her hopes, dreams, woes,
quietly listening, leaves softly rustling in response,
offering comfort and protection.
Her tree mirrors her beauty, the rich color and
steadfast majestic growth of the tree reflected in Her
brilliant eyes, strong shoulders, far reaching limbs.
Each sway in the wind; both remain rooted in love.