This morning I write

to right the less than inspired emotions that emerge from a feeling of lack. Lack of employment and the many stops I’ve put in place surrounding the lack of income. In fact, I am wrong. I am abundantly wealthy. Riches overflow and have little if anything to do with dollars. The job hunt, one that has truly turned into a foraging, will undoubtedly show itself to be measured out exactly as it should be. In faith the journey continues.

So on this incredibly beautiful NC morning of gentle, cool breezes, with a view out my window of erupting green against a backdrop of blue cloudless sky, the chatter of the birds sharing their morning story, I humbly bow my head in reverence to the wealth of grace and beauty that gently holds me.

4.23.2016[1]

A welcome good morning to you, my friends.

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Nine Adagio Prayers, Twelve Languages, The Prayer Cycle

Over a decade ago, the movements of this album merged with the whispers of ocean waves as they brushed across my feet. I felt and heard and tasted the dreams that emerged. Glorious moments born of these glorious movements. Still today.

The Prayer Cycle 

Mercy

Strength

Hope

Compassion

Grace

Innocence

Forgiveness

Benediction

Faith

Snap!

I’m on a mission.  Purpose driven.  Big stuff. Balancing the heavy with humor the best I can. Reading helps, as does rest.  Snacks, too.

Until very recently I held this notion that I lacked focus.  For me this notion propelled my normal flits of thought into chaotic mind-chatter, compelling me to believe I wasn’t contributing anything of purpose back into my world.  Crazy talk, I tell you!  My self isn’t always generous with me.

It seems my higher-self decided she’d had enough of me and offered some clarity. Snap! The thought materializes. I see and hear it!  A realization that I have in fact been intently focused.  A wonderfully long-term focus. (Mom)-hood.  Huge moment of expansion.  Relief.  Maybe what I contribute does matter.  Perhaps I am offering something meaningful.

A clarification of focus:(mom)hood:

I make my choices and try to move in directions that best support raising my daughter.  As I believe processes to roll, I get the privilege of always being her mommy. I am meant to encourage, support, and amaze in her growing years, so that she might step into her own strong, equipped and enlightened self.  There is meant to be a degree of separation to come.

Back to my Snap! moment.  With the relief, and clarification of my role as mom, I had to quickly assess my perceived lack of focus.  It seemed this meant I could reframe the story I kept telling myself, and sometimes others.

If I’ve always known my focus:(mom)hood role would cease in its current form, then it has been important to seek and determine what’s next. The what-comes-next process has been a long running research and contemplation effort. Numerous interests, the desire to learn, while remaining gainfully employed full-time, coupled with the focus:(mom)hood project… well, see above. Chaotic mind-chatter!

I wavered in this shiny new Snap! revelation.  Could I really reframe my lack chatter? Call in the troops.  I share Snap! with her, asking that she call me out if I wasn’t speaking a truth.  Could she see me in the Snap!?  Was I being honest in this contemplation?

I hear an excited “Yes!” followed by affirming and loving statements as to how she sees me, has always seen me.  Seems my Snap! offered my best pal some joy as well. The conversation closed. Relief and something more continued.

I gently, humbly, with total reverence, acknowledged and gave thanks for the moments of grace I had been bestowed. And started reframing my story!  So continues the journey.

Purple Majesty


This is not just a tree.
This is Her tree.
Other acts of bravery have followed,
but nestled securely in the bend of the branch,
scared and exhilarated, three feet above the ground
exclaiming “I can do it!”
as the grip on her mommy’s hands loosened,
this was her first.
Her tree has served her well. It has been
sanctuary, leaves shadowing her on her perch;
Counselor, holding her hopes, dreams, woes,
quietly listening, leaves softly rustling in response,
offering comfort and protection.
Her tree mirrors her beauty, the rich color and
steadfast majestic growth of the tree reflected in Her
brilliant eyes, strong shoulders, far reaching limbs.
Each sway in the wind; both remain rooted in love.